Have you ever heard of a “false virtue”?

A false virtue is a virtue that society fabricates over time that we have collectively come to believe as a “truth”. A great example is the notion that we should put ourselves last in the pursuit of serving others.

You can see this false virtue play out on so many levels. As an obvious example, I often see mothers of young kids put their health and wellness on hold for years at at time to attend to the needs of their children, and on the surface this may seem normal or even natural.

As another example, you often see corporate professionals and entrepreneurs put their health and wellness on the back burner so that they can “provide for their families”, or even “sacrifice for their careers”.

Again without analyzing what is really going on, these claims sound noble and selfless and it is easy to fall victim to their behaviors.

But what if we look at it from a completely different point of view? What if we look at these so-called “noble acts” as acts of selfishness?

Now before I dive deep into my rationale, let me first acknowledge that I myself continually fall into these traps and I know that if you find yourself falling into the same traps that you are NOT trying to be intentionally selfish. The resulting “selfishness” is far more subconscious in nature. In fact I truly believe that most people are honestly trying to be selfless but they cannot see the damage they are doing to themselves or others.

How Being “Selfless” Can Be Selfish…

Let’s go back to the example of the professional that puts themselves last to provide for their family.

This particular individual is prone to eat foods that are sub-optimal for their health, live in a state of chronic sleep deprivation because of their racing mind, not take time for meditation, “me time”, or other forms of self-care, and generally not exercise appropriate to their lifestyle.

As a result of their lifestyle their bodies physiology becomes sub-optimal and it begins to have far reaching affects into other key area’s of their lives such as:

-Mood management due to depleted “feel good” neurotransmitters such as serotonin and GABA (aka, getting short tempered and irritable)

-Increased appetite due to dysregulated hunger hormones that stem from sleep deprivation. This leads to food addiction, caffeine dependency, sugar addiction, alcohol abuse and other disordered eating

-Brain fog, forgetfulness, and general cognitive decline. When you are not eating, drinking, exercising and sleeping optimally your brain takes the brunt.

-Increased inflammation which leads to insulin resistance, weight gain, hormonal imbalance and acts as the gateway to more serious downstream diseases.

I could go on and on but I think you get the point.

Now let me ask you an honest question…

Do you think that you can be the best partner, professional, mom, dad, or any other significant role in your life when your very biology is compromised?

I have seen relationships dissolve, finances implode and health and wellness crumble under the guise of being “selfless”.


Because your physiology cannot lie and it always wins in the end! You are nothing more than intelligently organized human ball of energy and when that energy get scrambled through lifestyle mismanagement your most important relationships will suffer, and the things that are most important to you will be compromised.

“Sacred Selfishness”

One of my mentors coined this term.

Here is what it means….

When you put yourself FIRST you are therefore able to optimize the most important area’s of your life as well, which is a sacred task for yourself and others.

So the next time you are tempted to put your health and wellness on the back burner just remember that you are unconsciously heading into the land of selfishness which serves nobody and takes away from your quality of life.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this so be sure to COMMENT here!

Life is Good!

P.S. If you would like some mentorship with putting yourself first please learn more about us to see how we can help!

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